Tap Tap....Tap Tap

In the dead of winter, here in NY, it's such a pleasure to watch the birds at the feeder. The fast fluttering about in the cold seems unreal. I wonder if I could even manage for five minutes without all the bundle of clothing and the knowing that there's a fire nearby. They amaze me how they can survive outside and besides their colors are beautiful against the monochromatic snow. Doves for peace, eagles for reaching the heights of god/goddess, swans for grace, owls for Divine wisdom, how many ways we relate birds to higher aspirations. Birds whistling and chirping can sound like heavenly music or their soaring above feels like our desire to fly out of the stationary body and into expanded visions with the Universal mind. I used to love to meditate out in nature as a kid and a few times I remember day dreaming about flying up in the cloudless sky with the birds picking updrafts to circle and swoop through the air. I find one more thing about birds that I can relate today as I sit and type. The tapping.

Birds tap on trees, windows, the ground, you name it, they tap. All this tapping with their food and to pick up things seems pretty useful. Tapping is the first thing they learn to do. Tapping seems very purposeful to me, but it also feels sometimes like it expresses joy too. Sometimes I look at birds and I wonder if they are just so happy that they tap for joy. Tapping is the way they come into the world. Breaking out of their shell to discover the whole wide world. Tapping to get out with the purpose and urgency to explode out from the confines of a space that is too thin, too cramped. I can relate to wanting to break out when I feel confined. I tap at the empty shell of my ego to let me out. I don't beleive that the ego is necessarily bad, but I have seen it can hold on tighter than it should, especially if it attaches a belief to it and then look out, there is no way to stop it's dictatorship. If the ego gets full control than everything is done to feed it's decrees.

As a Kundalini teacher, I tap on my own and anyone else's ego shells that roll by. Sometimes the tapping is gentle and rythmic and sometimes it is shocking and abrasive. The point is to get to see if the ego's shell will break, or maybe crack. Maybe one day it just sets a little hairline crack so months or years later one finally realizes. Either way, it's nothing personal. It's never personal in this game. It's just to get to the good stuff. Oozy good stuff inside. We all have the good stuff at the heart of the center. It's not like some people have it and some don't. It's more like some people reside there, some can open or close and some are just not cracked yet. They haven't started tapping.

I have heard that when the ego cracks open wide it can be like a psychotic break. I am reminded of my encounters with bipolar energy and how it can mimic the struggling ego. Maybe that's why it is so prevalent in our country now because people are starting to wake up and crack open the ego. In Kundalini we take great care to watch and see when the ego is getting close to cracking open and if the nervous system is stable enough to make the transformation. Getting too close to the thin shell can be scarey and everything in the ego fights to keep it in charge. I wrote in an earlier blog about surrendering to the feelings and letting love wash over anger and fear to release and transmute. Love and kindness surrounding us from all directions helps us feel safe enough to venture out of the shell. If you've ever seen a baby bird being hatched, it's such a sweet moment when all the frantic tapping stops and baby slowly peeks out.
When we get so close to the edge of the ego it may seem impossible to release it's container, but that is the moment to keep tapping. It's hard to notice but we're almost there! Tap, tap, tap and crack. Relief and freedom. The spirit can play. Playing hide and go seek is one of the favorite games of spirit and when the ego breaks we are thrust into the wild world of spirit. Is that what the birds are telling us all the time.....play, have fun and enjoy. I'm tapping my way and I love playing hide and go seek with you.