Ding, Ding, Ding

48 hours later my mind just went surreal. Right in the middle of a Statistics class, grappling with formulas, my mind suddenly starts to go into a visceral computer mode with categories popping up and checking off. Analyzing data to find a matching clue. Cross referencing every detail for some sort of matching information. Sifting, sorting,,,,shuffling through scenerios, downloading,,,,Tick tick tick tick tick ding, tick tick tick tick tick ding, tick tick tick tick tick ding! Got it! And the print out reads.....

The answer to the question: What is my dynamic?

For 2 days straight my mind was bubbling and churning trying to view the conversation in a language that made sense, not the pretend language of incongruent sentences and opposite energies. Words not matching their meaning or feeling. Where's the truth behind the syllables? Why is this rehearsed "dialogue" meant to be effective? Why use words like container and dynamic that are so programable. Why use stagnant words to convey creative real feelings? Who describes their feelings and inner life with different words, words that just sound phoney because they're not the words they would normally use in conversation? These words are learned and rehearsed and saved just for one use, to describe an organic ever changing essense from a safe distance. Although they are very flourishy and might sound good in a workshop or a book, they are only pulled out on occasion and they definitely miss the mark. So why all the camouflage to avoid describing an experience? Why couldn't my mind make sense of the jumble?...it was trying very hard to understand, to match up the words and the stories with the energies behind them. Then finally after having set my awareness to the task of discovering the answer to a particular question, suddenly after diligent hours of what seemed like non-stop filtering, sifting, sorting, cross referencing, checking all past history and stored reference points, my whole experience went into the surreal. No time, no space, no body, just a computer of possibilities looking for the answer. Checking to reveal if it was stored deep inside. The bubbling of my mind and bubbling in the one particular location in my physical body all subsided for just long enough and the download was complete.

AHA, OMG That's where it fits in??? What a cosmic joke! How funny it all is!!!! All I can do is laugh.............