a conversation form my Divine Spark to yours

Thanks Larisa for your writing. I do like this!
When I think of people acting robotically I think of how it feels to be out of touch with our emotions and disconnected from our bodies and clouded by beliefs and so on. I have experienced that we have many forms of intelligence and that intelligence leads to wisdom, but intellect does not. Intellect can be the hook that the ego uses to keep us engaged in our patterns of denial. Patterns of denial telling us that we are not more than we even can imagine. I have witnessed many intellectuals who think they are all that and really have no connection to anything other than mind games. But on the other hand, I have also seen where intellect being used in a challenging way can ignite conversation to become heightened and reveals the Divine. One of my teachers loved to speak that way and when she would have long discourses she would become more elevated through the exchange...it is a Jewish tradition too, practiced by elders mostly I am told. So I do understand that there can be both approaches, but as always I am looking for the spirit in the moment. So whether or not there is spirit is what I will choose to engage in and I am always on the lookout for where it is and in what form it is appearing. Sometimes it is a leaf falling from the tree and other times it flirts across a person's expression or shows up in the reflections of art...there are multitudes of ways I sense it and I have mostly always known when it is there and when it is vacant. The times that I could not tell were it was, I was acting robotically and was immersed in a bubble of pain. Pain from being separated-ultimately. This is how I understand Eckhart's pain body concept. We humans can completely fill ourselves with nothing but illusion and pain so that we loose touch with our true selves. We as a species have been very great fodder for other energies to control as we have been hooked into our tellies for centuries. Mind control is easy when there is constant bombardment from tv and other waves day in day out. I know what it feel likes to have disconnected myself from the massive mind control mechanisms and live more freely because I have done it and my children have done it. But I know many other families where the tv is on constantly and people never get a chance to get out and live just in nature to cleanse their vibrations. People continue to live gullibly to all good/bad influences if they don't have any other experience to discern from.
So getting clear and being self reflective and practicing White Tantric to really cut the cords has made a huge difference in my ability to live authentically. People still try to suck me in all the time to their anger, self righteousness, gang mentality and so on, but I have also learned when to fight my demons, when to help others fight theirs and when to walk away. I no longer suffer that someone is in need because I see them as their true potential anyway. We all have what we really need if we can get out of the mind control, clear our negative addictions, and connect with our Divine nature more fully. I am a spiritual being having a human experience and in that I have personalities which I can relate to God/Goddess through, so that is how I co-create here. In other forms of me I may not need personalities and I can just breathe my creations directly into being. Here I can choose to be in alignment or denial, that is my free will. And that is my constant discernment. I have set my vibration to be different, and it's from that trajectory that I live from. Only from knowing myself to some degree and taking responsibility for my well being have I changed my patterns and stepped out of living in the shadows of fear. It has taken a lifetime of growing up and learning to be grateful and what to do with my gifts. Mind control from the collective and other energies and our own patterns and imprints and heredity are all possible to break free from with constant discernment and until then, we really can't be free to choose, we are just robots. That is the discipline. An authentic life takes great discipline and courage. This is what I have learned and it is what has given me back my life. I always asked these questions ever since I can remember, I asked why am I here, why am I like this, why do I have parents, did I choose them, why was I born in America instead of Russia, what am I learning to experience this lifetime, have there been other lifetimes....on and on, I had these full on conversations when I was a child growing up in rural Wisconsin. I asked questions and listened for answers. I had a whole education before I started school. But no one else I knew was asking these questions and I just thought wow, I can't imagine a life with no introspection. I felt so much compassion for my siblings, because I felt how lost and robotic they were. I have known liberation since I was a child and that is the main reason why I had to be born in America. I was in sync with the FREEDOM vibration that America holds dear. I was liberated from so much right from the beginning. Now finally some of my sisters are waking up to asking the self questions and I have hope.
Shelley Hawkos * Sat Darshan Kaur